I want to keep the aim of this post short and accurate… unlike the cryptic, pictured twin arrows that have taken an unfortunate turn into the earth, slowly decaying and crumbling beside an old abandoned building and broken dream.
I will NOT be competing at the Olympic Trials in LA come February 13th.
(Most of you can stop reading now, because that is all you really need to know to confirm the suspicions you may have already had… but justly, I urge you to continue to look forward to the excitement on February 13th that the remaining players in the “Road to Rio” race will undoubtedly provide you.)
However, if you are bored, need to kill time, and/or more explanation is interesting to you… we can continue.
Somehow stumbling across this run-down landmark on the side of I-40 in Arizona was all too symbolic and clear to ignore. Instead of speeding by and ignoring any danger of surfacing emotions as I usually do in life, I illegally parked the Subaru on a highway median, hopped over some barriers and let the feeling of setback, deterioration, irony… whatever, resonate.
Two missed arrows.
Is it my curse to qualify for the Olympic Trials and not make it to damn starting line? Where is the frog I can kiss to make this shit stop? Never mind the possible Prince Charmings and all the freaky frog babies I could be reproducing right now to flow in line and current with the majority of my generation. I just wish for the opportunity to line up and be able to shoot, aim, and fire and “queen/king” the living daylight out of my competitors on this chessboard I am currently caught up in.
But as the Olympics timeline works, and the latest disappointment sinks in, here lies another four years, in question. I cannot say the next target is in clear sight yet, nor is my body ready to aim and shoot. The latest arrow made sure to land and twist and turn in my heart a bit, so there is a bit of a bloody mess I need to clean up first… mind, body, and soul.
As for now, all I can offer up is a huge thank you to all that have supported me in the past and up to the very present.
After an aggressive and alternative approach to try and get to fighting fitness in time for February 13th (combining land running with Alter G workouts and a whole lot of strength work), it came time to bow down and put down my bow, when everything was failing to really come together in time.
On a trip to view the course in downtown Los Angeles a month ago, when my heart should have been soaring with excitement and good nerves and confidence, instead I could feel the twinges of disappointment, and knew my arrow was swerving off track to miss the target, and to land somewhere off course.
For me, life is all about shooting and aiming high. No matter where the arrow may land, the flight and fight to get to a target goal offers spectacular views, experiences, and friendships you may have never flown by otherwise.
This entire experience has been just that, and I especially have to thank my current team here in Flagstaff, Hoka One One Northern Arizona Elite, Coach Ben Rosario, as well as Aj Gregg and Wes Gregg at Hypo2 for taking me under their wing in fairly short notice when I was essentially trying to fly around with a broken one.
My heart breaks the most to not be able to do this thing for my family and close friends that have been a constant source of inspiration and support. When I do find my chance to fly again, I owe it all to you. Thank you for the conversations, the words, the hugs, the helping hands, the open couches, the jokes to keep me laughing, …. you all know who you are.
Amidst my own disappointment, I am still very excited for a group of individuals I have been able to watch progress into amazing fitness and confidence these winter months in preparation for the Olympic Trials. These kids; Ben Bruce, Scott Smith, Matt Llano, and Kellyn Taylor are ready to fly on February 13th, under the tutelage of Ben Rosario. I wouldn’t be surprised, but I would still be screaming with joy and pride, if one of them narrows in on that Top 3 Finish and Ticket to Rio target.
Best of luck to them, and also to the rest of you that are competing.
I am off to start sharpening some new arrows, and narrow in on some new targets.